Battling the Inner Self Critic and Turning Self-Doubt into Strength
FP HNTTRAINING
When runners talk about what truly challenges them — the miles, the workouts, the fatigue — the conversation almost always circles back to the same obstacle: the mind.
Whether you’re training for a marathon or simply navigating a busy week, the inner critic never misses an opportunity to speak up.
Mental health advocate, actor, speaker, and runner Tony Rossi knows this voice well. Long before he became a two-time marathoner (including Boston), he was an actor navigating rejection, working in a toxic restaurant environment, and dealing with a constant stream of negative self-talk he didn’t yet know how to manage.
“ I remember thinking, ‘I’m going to be miserable until the magical day I become a working actor.’ That wasn’t sustainable. ” — Tony Rossi
His turning point came during a panic-filled breakdown inside a tiny storage closet at work — the “Harry Potter closet,” as he calls it. That moment forced him to confront years of unmanaged stress and set him on a new path of personal development and mental wellness.
The Runner Who Once Believed Running Was Impossible
Many assume Tony is naturally mentally strong, but his running journey began from a place of fear. Diagnosed with asthma seven years ago, he once believed running comfortably — let alone training for a marathon — was out of the question.
Growing up in Boston, completing the Boston Marathon felt like a dream he’d never reach.
Everything shifted at a men’s retreat when he reluctantly joined a Rugged Maniac 5K mud run. He walked most of it, inhalers in hand — but he finished. And finishing changed everything.
“ It wasn’t pretty. But I realized: If I can do this, maybe I can do more. ”
That one small win led to more 5Ks, then the Chicago Marathon, and eventually — Boston. Today, Tony is off his inhalers entirely and fully immersed in the running community.
Learning to Separate Real Pain From the Inner Critic
Like many runners, Tony struggled to distinguish between real physical signals and the noise of self-doubt. This became especially important after a major setback: a traumatic facial fracture from a baseball line drive just three months before the Chicago Marathon.
He initially canceled his race plans — until someone close challenged him.
“ My stylist said, ‘I think you’d be really happy to see what you’re capable of.’ That line stuck with me. ”
A month later, Tony tested the waters with a cautious 5K. He promised himself he’d stop if anything felt wrong. It wasn’t fast, but it was safe — and he crossed the finish line.
Fear and physical limitation are not the same thing.
The Mental Tool Tony Teaches Everyone: “Catch the Thought”
Most people don’t realize how harsh their inner dialogue is until it has already shaped their mood or decisions. That’s why Tony teaches a simple but powerful first step:
“ Catch the thought. Literally pause and ask: ‘What exactly am I saying to myself right now?’ ”
Awareness interrupts the spiral. Once the thought is caught, you can redirect it.
Set an Intention — Not Forced Positivity
Tony doesn’t believe in forcing affirmations that don’t feel true. Instead, he encourages choosing two or three words for how you want to feel — a mental compass.
steady
capable
patient
strong
focused
“ We honor what we’re actually feeling. But we set a direction for where we want the mind to go. ”
“Don’t Skip the Suck.”
One of Tony’s most memorable principles is embracing discomfort instead of ignoring it.
“ Don’t skip the suck. You have to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling before you can move through it. ”
Acknowledging discomfort — not avoiding it — is what builds resilience.
Daily Habits That Build Real Confidence
1. A Gratitude Practice
Tony writes down five things he’s grateful for every morning and five every evening.
“ It’s training your brain to focus on what’s going right. ”
2. Physical and Digital Detox
Tony stresses the importance of regularly stepping away from screens and taking small periods of silence each day. This helps lower the baseline anxiety caused by constant social media comparison and digital noise.
3. Move the Body
Even when dealing with mental block or depression, Tony emphasizes movement. It doesn't have to be a run; it can be a walk, a light stretch, or a few minutes of jumping jacks. The goal is to prove to the body that it is capable of action, breaking the inertia of self-doubt.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
Instead of waiting for a marathon PR or an acting gig, Tony encourages consciously recognizing daily victories: sticking to a meal prep plan, getting enough sleep, or simply being kind to someone. These small affirmations rewire the brain toward success and capability.